Not too long before I went to bed last night, I sent out this tweet.
While I know that my TPA (evaluation) may be for my own professional growth/practice, and my principal has been so incredibly supportive, can I just say that the very thought of it tomorrow is making me want to throw up?! cc @john_gris
— 𝘼𝙫𝙞𝙫𝙖 𝘿𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙜𝙚𝙧 (@avivaloca) January 29, 2019
I was inundated with kind words of support, which made me realize once again just how wonderful online networks can be. It was this comment from Faige Meller though, which made me take my personal woes and start looking beyond just me.
How I would love to sit in on one of your classes. Lucky is the person who gets to observe you, for whatever reason.
— Faige Meller (@dubioseducator) January 29, 2019
Thanks Faige! So funny, as we have people come in all the time, and I don’t feel this pressure. It must be the evaluation part that changes things. Makes you think of how an exam causes stress for kids. Not exactly the same, but I can relate!
— 𝘼𝙫𝙞𝙫𝙖 𝘿𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙜𝙚𝙧 (@avivaloca) January 29, 2019
This is my 18th year teaching. I’ve been through many evaluation experiences, and I know what to expect. I realize that I should take Kristi‘s advice and try breathing … A LOT. 🙂
You'll do great. Breathe, get some sleep and show off what the students can do. All will be fabulous…and then over 🙂
— Kristi Keery Bishop (@kkeerybi) January 29, 2019
But it was reflecting more on Faige’s words and my connection to them, which caused me to see a different perspective. Yes, I want my principal John‘s visit to be a great one. I want him to see in kids what my teaching partner, Paula, and I see every day. I want him to …
- see the great thinking,
- hear the problem solving,
- notice the multiple entry points,
- and experience the joyful learning that is truly a reality of a play-based classroom program!
I would be lying if I said that I won’t feel the evaluation lens that comes from a more formalized visit, no matter how well John tries to put me at ease. He actually came by yesterday, as I happened to be leading a similar transitional activity to the one that he’ll observe more formally for my TPA (Teacher Performance Appraisal).
And while he did nothing more than sit down and smile, I could feel my stomach doing flip-flops as soon as I noticed him.
- I became that much more aware of what every child was doing or not doing.
- I became that much more in-tuned to my words and actions.
- And I became that much more critical of myself … needing to remind myself in my head to stay responsive to kids, and not hyper-focused on the principal.
When the lesson was done and John left, I breathed again. Then I sat out in the hallway over the nutrition break, and watched, listened to, and reflected on every minute of the recording (of which only a portion is shared above). As I started to think about what I could do better tomorrow (now being today), I realized something that came to me again last night.
- Like a test or an exam, an evaluation is just a snapshot in time.
Once again, I’m grateful for our Daily Shoot Blog Posts, where my principal can experience each of our days, every single day. Any moment he sees in a formal evaluation, he will see many more times, informally. My final evaluation report won’t be based on a couple of observations, but the package of experiences that he can observe and reflect on thanks to our online sharing. Don’t get me wrong! I may still have a #kinderchat #pukealert if the formal observations don’t go as planned, but I can then remember that these aren’t everything.
And so comes today, when something happened with this evaluation that I did not expect …
As I wait to see about rescheduling today, I decided to use this Snow Day for something good.
The unexpected surprise of a Snow Day means that I'll be able to finish proofreading my Communications of Learning today. Will be nice to be DONE. 🙂 Hope others have good plans for the Snow Day!
— 𝘼𝙫𝙞𝙫𝙖 𝘿𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙜𝙚𝙧 (@avivaloca) January 29, 2019
Proofreading these Communications of Learning, and thinking more about reporting as well as Teacher Performance Appraisals, I was reminded about the triangulation of data. Thanks to Growing Success, marks are determined based on …
- observations,
- conversations,
- and work products.
While we don’t give marks in Kindergarten, our Growing Success Addendum still highlights the value in all three of these components, with “demonstrations of learning” being our term for “work products.” Maybe my TPA is the same. The process allows for observations, conversations, and samples of work to act as proof to support my professional growth. A couple of visits do not determine my “pass” or “failure.” This may be the very thinking that helps calm my anxious stomach. What about for our kids then? How are we ensuring that it’s not just the test or assignment that determines the grade? I wonder how many kids might feel as I do, and if it’s the balance of these three areas that might also make the difference for them.
Aviva